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A Primer On The Dark Web

With many crimes now originating on encrypted areas of the internet, many wonder about the so-called dark web and its activities. The Onion provides a primer on this obscured digital space:

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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California Legalizes Self-Driving Cars

Following heavy lobbying pressure from Google, which has already developed its own fleet of self-driving vehicles, California became the third state in the nation to legalize the use of driverless cars on its roadways. What do you think?

  • “I’m too excited about the next big step: the passengerless car.”

    Suzanne Sudow Rubber Cutter
  • “Alright, I’ll sit in the passenger seat and let that damn thing drive. But I’m going to be good and hammered.”

    Jose Naveira Charter Boat Operator
  • “No matter what, even a robot car has gotta be a better driver than my wife! She recently died in a car accident.”

    E. J. Wimberly Eyeglass Inspector
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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

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