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California Legalizes Self-Driving Cars

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
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California Legalizes Self-Driving Cars

Following heavy lobbying pressure from Google, which has already developed its own fleet of self-driving vehicles, California became the third state in the nation to legalize the use of driverless cars on its roadways. What do you think?

  • “I’m too excited about the next big step: the passengerless car.”

    Suzanne Sudow Rubber Cutter
  • “Alright, I’ll sit in the passenger seat and let that damn thing drive. But I’m going to be good and hammered.”

    Jose Naveira Charter Boat Operator
  • “No matter what, even a robot car has gotta be a better driver than my wife! She recently died in a car accident.”

    E. J. Wimberly Eyeglass Inspector

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