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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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California Must Cut Inmate Population

The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a ruling requiring the State of California to remove at least 37,000 inmates from its prisons to reduce overcrowding. What do you think?

  • "Finally, maybe I can meet a man who appreciates the nuances of my bologna sandwiches."

    Jill Binford Hotel Clerk
  • "The real problem here is that prison riots aren't killing as many inmates as they used to."

    Keith Davis Systems Analyst
  • "Some of them can stay at my house while I’m away on a long business trip. That is, if they don’t mind my beautiful young wife walking around making a racket."

    Calvin Ferreri Salesman
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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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