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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Call To Outlaw Texting While Driving

According to a new poll, 89 percent of Americans questioned believe that text-messaging while driving should be against the law. What do you think?
  • "Fine, I'll stop texting. But I'll be damned if I start paying attention to the road."

    Melissa Checzlowyczh Systems Analyst
  • "Don't count me in that number. About the only time I have any trouble doing both safely is when I'm backing up."

    Tracy Herman Plumber
  • "Wouldn't it be easier to just ban driving? Honestly, who drives any more?"

    Frank Cooley Refrigerator Delivery Man
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