Calling People Fat Spurs Weight Gain

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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Man Races Against Time To Take Out Trash Bag With Widening Puncture

RIO RANCHO, NM—His pace steadily quickening as he rounded the corner out of his kitchen and made a beeline for the front door, local man Henry Parnasse reportedly found himself locked in a race against time Wednesday morning to take out a trash bag with a widening hole in its side.
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Calling People Fat Spurs Weight Gain

According to a new study, the discrimination that people face regarding their weight, including stigmatizing, teasing, and name-calling, does not motivate them to shed pounds, and instead increases their risk of obesity later, as many engage in overeating as a coping behavior. What do you think?

  • “Oh no! I thought I was helping.”

    Amber Bean
    Sculptor
  • “The ironic nickname ‘Tiny’ doesn’t seem to work either.”

    Heath Segal
    Unemployed
  • “This is just one study. Let’s wait for more data before we all just run out and be nice to people.”

    Taylor McConnell
    Gas Line Inspector