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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Cameron Distributing Darwin

Actor Kirk Cameron, best known for his work on the television program Growing Pains, is touring college campuses to hand out copies of Charles Darwin's Origin of Species that contain a 50-page critique by Cameron himself. What do you think?
  • "I've seen the commentary, and it's simply not on the level of, say, Eve Plumb's introduction to Rousseau's Emile."

    Damon Roslie Systems Analyst
  • "I bet Charles Darwin is lying still in his grave, because he is dead."

    Julie Parypa Jacket Changer
  • "This sounds like a really juicy scheme, but you just know his dunderheaded friend Boner is going to completely ruin it somehow, most likely with hilarious results."

    Joseph Lind Retail Manager

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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