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Can Celebrities Get A Fair Trial?

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Can Celebrities Get A Fair Trial?

The inability to find jurors unfamiliar with Martha Stewart has raised concerns that celebrities cannot receive a fair trial. What do you think?
  • "So a bunch of famous people got arrested, and all of a sudden we're worried about fair trials?"

    Jen Craig-Greenman Paralegal
  • "Except for their incredibly well-funded legal-defense teams, these stars are on their own."

    Janice Parks Title Examiner
  • "I hope celebrities can get a fair trial in this country. God knows they can't get decent service."

    Joey Reid Cleaner
  • "May I remind you that I am not on trial here?! Sorry. I just love saying that."

    Lee Daniels Cook
  • "To ensure a fair trial, the judge should present the evidence with Gretchen Mol standing in for the defendant."

    Harold Johnston CEO
  • "Oh, great. If I somehow manage to avoid 20 years of Cheers and Frasier, my reward is a jury seat at Kelsey Grammer's child-murder trial?"

    Timothy Bates Systems Analyst

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