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Can Celebrities Get A Fair Trial?

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Can Celebrities Get A Fair Trial?

The inability to find jurors unfamiliar with Martha Stewart has raised concerns that celebrities cannot receive a fair trial. What do you think?
  • "So a bunch of famous people got arrested, and all of a sudden we're worried about fair trials?"

    Jen Craig-Greenman Paralegal
  • "Except for their incredibly well-funded legal-defense teams, these stars are on their own."

    Janice Parks Title Examiner
  • "I hope celebrities can get a fair trial in this country. God knows they can't get decent service."

    Joey Reid Cleaner
  • "May I remind you that I am not on trial here?! Sorry. I just love saying that."

    Lee Daniels Cook
  • "To ensure a fair trial, the judge should present the evidence with Gretchen Mol standing in for the defendant."

    Harold Johnston CEO
  • "Oh, great. If I somehow manage to avoid 20 years of Cheers and Frasier, my reward is a jury seat at Kelsey Grammer's child-murder trial?"

    Timothy Bates Systems Analyst

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