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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Canadian City Outlaws Doorknobs

Vancouver, British Columbia, the eighth largest city in Canada, has banned the installation of doorknobs in all newly constructed buildings including personal residences, mandating that the devices be replaced with easier-to-use levers. What do you think?

  • “But what about those of us who use long wooden planks to fasten doors?”

    Lincoln Zolotas Port Inspector
  • “It’s about time! Doorknobs are confusing enough, but add in Canada’s metric system and the whole thing becomes an unsolvable puzzle.”

    Henrietta Dolan Refinery Operator
  • “I think people should just stay in the room they’re in.”

    Connor Hwong Fountain Installer
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