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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Canadian Dentist Plans To Clone John Lennon

Canadian dentist Michael Zuk told reporters that he paid $33,000 for John Lennon’s tooth in an auction and is looking forward to the day when he can clone the late Beatles frontman and raise the child as his own, then sign him up for guitar lessons. What do you think?

  • “Being a dentist’s son is hard enough.”

    Kent Gillan Information Securities Officer
  • “I’m in the market for a Lou Reed incisor if anybody’s got one.”

    Garrett Lafferty Unemployed
  • “Since when does someone who buys a tooth at an auction need a reason?”

    Melinda Basso Hotel Desk Clerk
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