Canadian Prisoners Escape Via Helicopter

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Vol 49 Issue 12

Charlotte Bobcats Get Lost While Driving To Basket

CHARLOTTE, NC—Attempting to put together an offensive play during last night’s matchup against the Detroit Pistons, the Charlotte Bobcats’ starting five got lost while driving to the basket, team sources confirmed Sunday.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Canadian Prisoners Escape Via Helicopter

Two inmates at a Quebec prison made a dramatic daytime escape yesterday when two outside accomplices booked a local helicopter tour, demanded the pilot fly to the prison, and then lowered ropes for the prisoners to climb, though all were later apprehended. What do you think?

  • “Can’t Canadians do anything without showboating?”

    Gabe Schneider
    Foundry Supervisor
  • “Dummies. It would have worked if they had gone with my giant Trojan Poutine plan.”

    Sabrina Astin
    Systems Analyst
  • “Wow, prison is awesome!”

    J.J. Nakashima
    Baggage Checker
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