adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
End Of Section
  • More News

Cancer Rate Declines For First Time

For the first time since statistics on the disease have been tracked, the cancer rate in the United States has declined. What do you think?
  • "I think we owe this in large part to many states banning cancer in bars and other public places."

    Rich Samuels Unemployed
  • "Cancer rates are going down? Great, I'll cancel my mammogram right now."

    Shana Young Attorney
  • "This is really great news for our statisticians. You should have seen how depressed the place was when we got our 2008 rape numbers back."

    Paul Notarile Research Analyst
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings