Capitol Visitor Center Finally Opens

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Vol 44 Issue 49

Shitload Of Math Due Monday

OLD BRIDGE, NJ—Students dreaded spending all day Sunday with some retarded math book, especially one that doesn't have any of the freaking answers in the back.
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Capitol Visitor Center Finally Opens

Three years late and nearly $360 million over budget, the Capitol Visitor Center is finally open in Washington, D.C. What do you think?
  • "My family's so excited. We can't wait to ride the Supplemental Appropriator, catch a bite at Filibuster's, and have our picture taken with Peddly the Lobbyist."

    Milos Prockofijev
    Sewer Maintenance Worker
  • "Perhaps this can pave the way for other over-budgeted visitor centers at federal landmarks. I always thought the St. Louis Arch should have an underground visitor center directly beneath it that is shaped like a 600-foot-deep subterranean arch."

    Ben Lyman
    Unemployed
  • "Oooo, I can't wait until it's closed for renovations."

    Karla Ayers
    Warehouse Manager
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