Captivated By Carolyn

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Details Of Obama’s Climate Change Plan

President Obama unveiled Monday a plan to increase the country’s clean power usage that many are calling the strongest action ever taken by a U.S. president to combat the effects of climate change. Here are some key details of Obama’s climate change plan
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Guards Gun Down Four Angels Escaping From Heaven

    THE HEAVENS—Killing four and critically wounding several others, armed guards dispatched from the Right Hand of God reportedly opened fire early Monday morning on a group of angels attempting to escape from heaven. One of the Eternal Kingdom’s...

Preparedness

Report: One In Three Americans Will Get Dessert If Someone Else Does

WASHINGTON—Noting that many of those surveyed reported feeling kind of full but could “probably make room” for ice cream or pie, a report published Thursday by the Pew Research Center found that nearly a third of Americans would be willing to get dessert if someone else does.

Captivated By Carolyn

Carolyn Bessette, John F. Kennedy Jr.'s new bride, has captivated all of America with her beauty and style. What do you think of the woman who's being called "the new Jackie Kennedy"?
  • "Carolyn is so beautiful. She must, like, go to Glamour Shots every day."

    Ellen Quinlan
    Defense Attorney
  • "President Lincoln's son, John F. Lincoln Jr., married a girl named Mary Bessette. They ended up getting killed on a steamboat. Beware, I say!"

    Jerry McInnis
    Dairy Farmer
  • "Sure, she's got the poise, the grace and the looks, but how good is she at catching chunks of her husband's brains in the back of a speeding convertible?"

    Roger Thewlkes
    Flight Attendant
  • "I love her! In fact, I just finished reading her new autobiography, I Am A Spoiled, Privileged, Vacuous Human Barbie Doll."

    Christine Girolamo
    Systems Analyst
  • "What an elegant, glamorous woman. That JFK Jr. sure did pick an amazing lady to lose his virginity to."

    Sean Singleton
    Bassoon Player
  • "Finally, America has a clearly defined alpha male and alpha female to defer to. I'm so relieved!"

    Ted O'Brien
    Dermatologist