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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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'Car Talk' Comes To An End

Ray and Tom Magliozzi, hosts of the public radio program Car Talk, announced they were retiring the popular show after 25 years of broadcasting nationally. What do you think?

  • “That’s okay, my new mechanic does some pretty funny wisecracks too, I guess. Except his are usually about what a dumbfuck I am and how much he likes my wife’s tits.”

    Ernst Kane Link Assembler
  • "It’s about time they stepped aside and made way for a new generation of self-amused mechanics."

    Mallory Beck Unemployed
  • "So, at what point should I just start directing all my automotive questions to Ira Glass?"

    Hal McLean Fats and Oils Loader
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