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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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'Car Talk' Comes To An End

Ray and Tom Magliozzi, hosts of the public radio program Car Talk, announced they were retiring the popular show after 25 years of broadcasting nationally. What do you think?

  • “That’s okay, my new mechanic does some pretty funny wisecracks too, I guess. Except his are usually about what a dumbfuck I am and how much he likes my wife’s tits.”

    Ernst Kane Link Assembler
  • "It’s about time they stepped aside and made way for a new generation of self-amused mechanics."

    Mallory Beck Unemployed
  • "So, at what point should I just start directing all my automotive questions to Ira Glass?"

    Hal McLean Fats and Oils Loader

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