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Cardinal Says Catholic Church Should Welcome Gays

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Jogger Clearly On First Run Of Plan To Turn Life Around

CHICAGO—Taking note of the man’s beat-up tennis shoes, sweat-drenched shirt, and ill-fitting pair of sweatpants as he made his way down the sidewalk, witnesses reported Tuesday that area jogger Dan Andreychuk was clearly out on his very first run of a plan to turn his life around.

What’s At Stake In New Hampshire

With the New Hampshire primary election Tuesday poised to impact the course of the 2016 presidential race, The Onion examines what’s at stake for the candidates
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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Cardinal Says Catholic Church Should Welcome Gays

While admitting the Vatican would not change its opposition to same-sex marriage, Archbishop of New York Timothy Dolan said the Church should be more welcoming of gays and lesbians, arguing that Catholicism needs to modernize how it presents its message. What do you think?

  • “Hippies!”

    Paul DiPrima
    Doll Wig Maker
  • “Oh no. I always knew this Golden Rule thing was a slippery slope.”

    Amelinda Page
    Shellacker
  • “Isn’t anyone going to keep hating gays?”

    Brian Barzman
    College Nurse

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