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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Care For 9/11 Illness

People who worked or lived near Ground Zero are demanding health-care for illnesses related to the poor air quality after the attacks. What do you think?
  • "I think we should FedEx an itemized invoice for all of those people's medical expenses to Osama bin Laden. Then, when he goes to sign for it—bam! We grab him!"

    Emily Sherman Guidance Counselor
  • "This is a very serious issue. My cousin was a first responder, and he recently succumbed to a particularly bad case of Freedom Lung."

    Jeremy Grusin Systems Analyst
  • "I guess we know whose side of the war on terror these folks' alveoli are on."

    Ron Wells Translator

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