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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Casey Anthony Released

Acquitted murder suspect Casey Anthony was released from jail on Sunday. What do you think?

  • "She left just two days ago? Huh, that's weird. You usually don't report an Anthony's disappearance for about a month or so."

    Dan Roth Moisture-Machine Tender
  • "Ooh, I thought I smelled something different in the air on Sunday! Turns out it was the smell of new beginnings. With just a hint of guilty-murderer-gone-free."

    Roberta Nelson Drop-Wire Hanger
  • "This is one crazy story she's going to tell her kids someday."

    Davis Youtz Unemployed
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