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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Casey Martin Vs. The PGA

Last week, a federal judge ruled that golfer Casey Martin—who is afflicted with a circulatory disorder that makes it painful for him to walk—may use a motorized golf cart during PGA competition. The PGA contends that the use of a cart constitutes an unfair advantage, and plans to appeal the decision. What do you think?
  • "I am shocked that the sport of golf would be associated with this sort of exclusivity and discrimination."

    Carrie Holt Music Teacher
  • "I know how Martin feels. I was recently kicked off the PGA Tour just because my debilitating foot fetish made me masturbate on the other golfers' cleats in the locker room all the time."

    Ed Shanahan Waiter
  • "First Tiger Woods, now a cripple? Christ, next thing you know, they'll be letting Jews into the country club."

    Willis Gehry Tax Attorney
  • "If he's crippled, what's he doing trying to achieve in the first place?"

    Rick Struck Systems Analyst
  • "This is just the latest in a long line of injustices committed against America's professional golfers."

    Melanie Foti Librarian
  • "Rodney Dangerfield endured the same sort of unfair treatment almost 20 years ago, solely because he wasn't an uptight, stuck-up snob. How little we have learned since then."

    Gus Trotter Graduate Student

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