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Castrated Men May Live Longer

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

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Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
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Castrated Men May Live Longer

An analysis of Korean imperial court records dating from the 1300s to the early 1900s, found that eunuchs lived 14 to 19 years longer than other men, suggesting that male sex hormones may lower the average man’s life span. What do you think?

  • “This is great news. Will castration be covered under Obamacare?”

    Mario Santoro Art Appraiser
  • “I’m sure if the researchers keep digging into it, they’ll discover some downside to castration, too.”

    Lyle DeCrescent Unemployed
  • “Wow! Imagine being able to spend an extra 14 to 19 years wanting your balls back.”

    Boone Stone Road Laborer

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