adBlockCheck

Cat Obesity On The Rise

Top Headlines

Recent News

Seagull This Far Inland Must Be Total Fuckup

KNOXVILLE, TN—Questioning how the bird could have possibly ended up more than 300 miles from the nearest ocean, sources confirmed Friday that a seagull that was spotted this far inland must be a total fuckup.

The Pros And Cons Of Affirmative Action

The Supreme Court upheld a challenge to the University of Texas at Austin’s affirmative action program Thursday, reigniting debate over the merits of policies that favor members of groups frequently targeted by discrimination. Here are the pros and cons of affirmative action

Financially Struggling Trump Campaign Holds Fundraising Riot

NEWARK, NJ—Having raised only $3.1 million last month despite clinching the Republican nomination and with just $1.3 million on hand, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign sought a much-needed injection of cash Wednesday by holding a fundraising riot in Newark, sources confirmed.

Trump’s Potential VP Picks

Here is a guide to presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump’s potential running mates in the 2016 presidential election

47 Weak-Willed Senators Bend To Interests Of Powerful American People

WASHINGTON—Saying the closely watched Senate vote clearly demonstrated where the elected officials’ loyalties lay, political observers confirmed that 47 weak-willed lawmakers bent to the interests of the powerful American public Monday by voting in favor of measures that would bar anyone on government terror watchlists from purchasing firearms.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Cat Obesity On The Rise

In response to rising feline obesity, a new study found that a restricted diet led to weight loss in cats and didn’t cause them to display any less affection toward their owners. What do you think?

  • “It must be jarring for the cats to have their own ambivalent attitude thrown back in their face like that.”

    Selina Murphy Systems Analyst
  • “Putting your pet on a strict diet is just one more way they prepare you for having children.”

    Don Sorel Trachea Inspector
  • “But wouldn’t it be unfair to give my cat less than half of what we hunt together?”

    Marv Houran Unemployed

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close