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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Catholic Leader Jailed For Covering Up Abuse

Monsignor William J. Lynn of the Philadelphia Archdiocese received a prison sentence of three to six years after becoming the first Roman Catholic Church official in the United States convicted of covering up the sexual abuse of children by priests. What do you think?

  • “It’s hard to believe this one guy was solely responsible for every single cover-up associated with the church’s abuse scandals, but you saw their press release.”

    Chrissy Laurenitis Optometric Assistant
  • “In addition, the court stripped the Philadelphia Archdiocese of all baptisms performed during Lynn’s tenure, meaning it is no longer the baptizingest parish in history.”

    Matthew Bakalar Makeup Artist
  • “All’s well that ends well.”

    Brian Moss Mortgage Loan Processor
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