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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Catholic Leader Jailed For Covering Up Abuse

Monsignor William J. Lynn of the Philadelphia Archdiocese received a prison sentence of three to six years after becoming the first Roman Catholic Church official in the United States convicted of covering up the sexual abuse of children by priests. What do you think?

  • “It’s hard to believe this one guy was solely responsible for every single cover-up associated with the church’s abuse scandals, but you saw their press release.”

    Chrissy Laurenitis Optometric Assistant
  • “In addition, the court stripped the Philadelphia Archdiocese of all baptisms performed during Lynn’s tenure, meaning it is no longer the baptizingest parish in history.”

    Matthew Bakalar Makeup Artist
  • “All’s well that ends well.”

    Brian Moss Mortgage Loan Processor
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