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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Catholic Leader Jailed For Covering Up Abuse

Monsignor William J. Lynn of the Philadelphia Archdiocese received a prison sentence of three to six years after becoming the first Roman Catholic Church official in the United States convicted of covering up the sexual abuse of children by priests. What do you think?

  • “It’s hard to believe this one guy was solely responsible for every single cover-up associated with the church’s abuse scandals, but you saw their press release.”

    Chrissy Laurenitis Optometric Assistant
  • “In addition, the court stripped the Philadelphia Archdiocese of all baptisms performed during Lynn’s tenure, meaning it is no longer the baptizingest parish in history.”

    Matthew Bakalar Makeup Artist
  • “All’s well that ends well.”

    Brian Moss Mortgage Loan Processor

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