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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Catholic Orgs Sue Over Birth-Control Rule

Several Catholic institutions, including Notre Dame, are suing the federal government over the Obama administration’s birth control funding mandate. What do you think?

  • "I'm not sure how competitive Notre Dame will be this fall if half its starters are dutifully helping their knocked up girlfriends through their last trimesters rather than suiting up when Michigan comes to South Bend."

    Chris Dierkop Systems Analyst
  • "I wouldn’t be so irritated with this situation if my Holy Ghost IUD was more reliable.”

    Amber Buckman Unemployed
  • "Why can't we just return to the good old days, when Catholics were having pre-marital sex without contraception, going away for nine months to give birth in a secluded farmhouse, returning to have more pre-marital sex without contraception, and eventually meeting and marrying the closeted gay husband of their dreams?"

    Frankie Hansen Numerical Control Machine Operator

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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