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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.
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Cats, Dogs May See Things Invisible To Human Eye

A new study has found that cats, dogs, and many other mammals are able to detect UV light, which may allow them to see many things invisible to humans, such as urine marks and certain color patterns on flowers. What do you think?

  • “Are they really things we can’t see, or things we don’t want to see?”

    Aaron Campelia Motorcycle Club Owner
  • “Aw man, I wish I had the power to see more urine.”

    Jason Bowyer Restaurant Host
  • “But can they love?”

    Kathleen Willis Event Coordinator

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