adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
End Of Section
  • More News

‘Cats’ Musical To Feature Rapping Cat

Composer Andrew Lloyd Webber announced this week that a London revival of his international smash musical Cats would feature, for the first time, a rapping cat. What do you think?

  • “It’s genius—there are so many words that rhyme with ‘meow.’”

    Courtney Grayson Evidence Destroyer
  • “After decades of it being watered down, I’m glad to see rap music finally getting back some of its sense of danger.”

    Manny Ojeda Disillusioned Educator
  • “Are the raps going to tackle the important issues concerning the cats of today, or is this just some silly bullshit?”

    Joseph Hooks Systems Analyst

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close