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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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CDC: 1 In Every 50 U.S. Schoolchildren Autistic

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention revised upward its estimate of the number of children in the United States with autism, stating that 1 in every 50 children between the ages of 6 and 17 have some form of autism spectrum disorder. What do you think?

  • “Isn’t there anything we can do to reverse this trend of testing for this horrible affliction?”

    Webster Owen Steeplejack
  • “Blackjack tables of the future are screwed.”

    Bryce Cassel Urologist
  • “Our nation’s bullies must be so exhausted.”

    Katie Marano Fuse Maker

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