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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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CDC: Obesity Down 43% Among Babies

New data from the CDC revealed that obesity rates among children aged 2 to 5 dropped 43 percent over the past decade, which researchers attribute in part to children consuming less sugar, more mothers breastfeeding, and policies aimed at helping kids stay fit. What do you think?

  • “That’s all right; they have their whole lives to get fat.”

    Ray MacGraw Cement Layer
  • “It could be all that stuff, or maybe these babies just finally got their lives together.”

    Cooper Swain Systems Analyst
  • “Ugh, now it’s going to feel like such a lie when I pretend I want to eat my baby.”

    Leslie Zarilla Personal Shopper
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