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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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CDC: Teens Losing Virginity Prior To Sex Ed

According to a new report by the CDC, more than 80 percent of teenagers don’t receive formal sex education by the time they have sex for the first time, leading many young teens to engage in risky birth control methods. What do you think?

  • “That’s why I tell every teen I come across that when a man ejaculates in a woman’s vagina it can make a baby.”

    Macklin Berringer Security Guard
  • “I’ll do it!”

    Jeremiah Hollis Unemployed
  • “How do they even know anything about sex without a middle-aged teacher explaining it to them first?”

    Cambry Adams Online Order Assistant
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