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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Celebrating The 50th Anniversary Of The Beatles On Ed Sullivan

This week marks the 50th anniversary of the Beatles’ first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, a milestone in American pop culture that fans across the nation are celebrating with reenactment concerts, television specials, tribute performances, and more. What do you think?

  • “It’s about time the Beatles got recognized for their accomplishments.”

    John Rohr Mail Sorter
  • “Yeah, that was a pretty good episode.”

    Dominique Laffan Home Goods Retailer
  • “I’m just relieved baby boomers managed to find something from their youth that they can keep celebrating.”

    Noel O’Regan Yeast Maker
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