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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Celebrating The 50th Anniversary Of The Beatles On Ed Sullivan

This week marks the 50th anniversary of the Beatles’ first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, a milestone in American pop culture that fans across the nation are celebrating with reenactment concerts, television specials, tribute performances, and more. What do you think?

  • “It’s about time the Beatles got recognized for their accomplishments.”

    John Rohr Mail Sorter
  • “Yeah, that was a pretty good episode.”

    Dominique Laffan Home Goods Retailer
  • “I’m just relieved baby boomers managed to find something from their youth that they can keep celebrating.”

    Noel O’Regan Yeast Maker

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