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Cell-Phone Infertility

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts
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Cell-Phone Infertility

A study presented at the American Society For Reproductive Medicine conference indicated that men who used cell phones frequently have a lower sperm count. What do you think?
  • "But what if all your time on the phone is spent ordering bull hormones?"

    Thalia Romanov Systems Analyst
  • "So my phone sends e-mail and prevents unwanted pregnancy? I'd like to see a pager do that."

    Fred Tallman Banker
  • "Thankfully, nobody ever calls me. Haven't even spoken to another person for months. So having kids should be no problem."

    Chris Wilhelm Kevlar Tailor

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