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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Who's Fucking: Zack and Evan

Coworkers Zack and Evan talk about moving past first impressions, stepping out of your comfort zone, and understanding what it really means to fuck someone.

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Cell-Phone TV?

Verizon Wireless announced that it will soon offer TV service over its cell-phone network. What do you think?
  • "This service should go great with my new 52-inch phone."

    Karen Gander Temp
  • "Sure, it sounds good until you realize the contract locks you into watching The King Of Queens for two years."

    Liam Daniels Systems Analyst
  • "Big deal. Get back to me when I can watch TV on my cat."

    Lyor Goldberg Fork-Lift Operator

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