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Census To Count Gay Marriages

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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Census To Count Gay Marriages

In a reversal of Bush administration policy, the 2010 census will recognize gay marriages. What do you think?
  • "I'm afraid that the census will legitimize gay marriages, much as it legitimized the racial category 'Pacific islander.'"

    Arthur Duclayan Ice Sculptor
  • "That's just great. Now I can’t even sit down with my son and enjoy the census without having the gay-marriage talk.”

    Josh Collins Stock Clerk
  • "Good. Now they'll have to let us know which one is the husband and which one is, you know…the gayer one.”

    Carrie Cuomo Unemployed

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