Census To Count Gay Marriages

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Vol 45 Issue 29

Wow Factor Added To Corporate Presentation

CHARLOTTE, NC—Sources confirmed that the wow factor—an intangible set of viscerally pleasing features that instill onlookers with a feeling of exhilaration and intense interest—was successfully added to this Thursday’s upcoming PowerPoint presentation.
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Census To Count Gay Marriages

In a reversal of Bush administration policy, the 2010 census will recognize gay marriages. What do you think?
  • "I'm afraid that the census will legitimize gay marriages, much as it legitimized the racial category 'Pacific islander.'"

    Arthur Duclayan
    Ice Sculptor
  • "That's just great. Now I can’t even sit down with my son and enjoy the census without having the gay-marriage talk.”

    Josh Collins
    Stock Clerk
  • "Good. Now they'll have to let us know which one is the husband and which one is, you know…the gayer one.”

    Carrie Cuomo
    Unemployed
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