adBlockCheck

Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
End Of Section
  • More News

Census To Count Gay Marriages

In a reversal of Bush administration policy, the 2010 census will recognize gay marriages. What do you think?
  • "I'm afraid that the census will legitimize gay marriages, much as it legitimized the racial category 'Pacific islander.'"

    Arthur Duclayan Ice Sculptor
  • "That's just great. Now I can’t even sit down with my son and enjoy the census without having the gay-marriage talk.”

    Josh Collins Stock Clerk
  • "Good. Now they'll have to let us know which one is the husband and which one is, you know…the gayer one.”

    Carrie Cuomo Unemployed

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close