adBlockCheck

CEO Pay On The Rise Again

Top Headlines

Recent News

Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

CEO Pay On The Rise Again

According to a survey of 200 major companies, median executive salaries rose 12 percent from 2009 to 2010, with many CEOs doing better than they were before the economic downturn. What do you think?

  • "Oh, I know! Have you seen the CEO of Greenpeace, lately, strutting around in those brand-new socks?

    Samantha Ofer Personal Banker
  • "For some, that may seem unreasonable, but those numbers just reflect the reality of cost-of-living increases for essentials like catamarans and racehorses."

    Jasper Wilson Systems Analyst
  • "Do you think some of it might trickle down over here, or would I maybe have a better shot if I moved to that corner across the street?"

    Tyler Andreoni Unemployed

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close