CEO Pay On The Rise Again

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Technology

CEO Pay On The Rise Again

According to a survey of 200 major companies, median executive salaries rose 12 percent from 2009 to 2010, with many CEOs doing better than they were before the economic downturn. What do you think?

  • "Oh, I know! Have you seen the CEO of Greenpeace, lately, strutting around in those brand-new socks?

    Samantha Ofer
    Personal Banker
  • "For some, that may seem unreasonable, but those numbers just reflect the reality of cost-of-living increases for essentials like catamarans and racehorses."

    Jasper Wilson
    Systems Analyst
  • "Do you think some of it might trickle down over here, or would I maybe have a better shot if I moved to that corner across the street?"

    Tyler Andreoni
    Unemployed
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