Charging Obese Flyers Double

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Goodwill Executives Arrested After Years Of Skimming Donated Goods Off Top

ROCKVILLE, MD—In what authorities are calling one of the most wide-reaching and deplorable cases of embezzlement in recent history, seven executives at Goodwill Industries International were arrested Thursday for allegedly skimming used clothing, old furniture, small appliances, and thousands of other donated items from the charitable group.

Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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Charging Obese Flyers Double

Southwest Airlines recently announced plans to strictly enforce a policy that asks passengers too large for its seats to purchase an extra fare. What do you think?
  • "Making the obese pay more is fine, but waving them into their seats with fluorescent-orange batons is too much."

    Chris George
    Systems Analyst
  • "As a man who once lost 100 pounds, I say to hell with them—it's their fault they're fat. As a man who gained the 100 pounds back, I say have a heart, Southwest Airlines."

    Robert Russell
    Cashier
  • "That explains the 'Test Your Ass Dimensions' frame at the check-in counter."

    Donna Koechner
    Homemaker
  • "I hope this controversy escalates. I would love to see that picket line."

    Fred Issel
    Delivery Driver
  • "Perhaps the overweight passenger could help offset the price of the extra seat by, say, serving as a screen for the in-flight movie."

    Phil Lyman
    Stockbroker
  • "Overweight people fully deserve the dignity they have denied themselves for so long."

    Meredith Poole
    Massage Therapist