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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Charging Obese Flyers Double

Southwest Airlines recently announced plans to strictly enforce a policy that asks passengers too large for its seats to purchase an extra fare. What do you think?
  • "Making the obese pay more is fine, but waving them into their seats with fluorescent-orange batons is too much."

    Chris George Systems Analyst
  • "As a man who once lost 100 pounds, I say to hell with them—it's their fault they're fat. As a man who gained the 100 pounds back, I say have a heart, Southwest Airlines."

    Robert Russell Cashier
  • "That explains the 'Test Your Ass Dimensions' frame at the check-in counter."

    Donna Koechner Homemaker
  • "I hope this controversy escalates. I would love to see that picket line."

    Fred Issel Delivery Driver
  • "Perhaps the overweight passenger could help offset the price of the extra seat by, say, serving as a screen for the in-flight movie."

    Phil Lyman Stockbroker
  • "Overweight people fully deserve the dignity they have denied themselves for so long."

    Meredith Poole Massage Therapist
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