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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Chavez Threatens To Cut United States Off

Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez has threatened to stop sending oil to the United States, citing Washington’s role in aiding Exxon Mobil with a lawsuit against nationalizing the country’s oil. What do you think?
  • "Bullies like Chavez should never underestimate the little guy—in this case, Exxon Mobil."

    Bettie Arnold Systems Analyst
  • "I'm surprised by how relatively reasonable this threat is."

    Pedro Barajas Hotel Clerk
  • "Exxon Mobil or Hugo Chavez. Please don't make me choose sides here."

    Adam Metz Carpet Installer

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