adBlockCheck

Politics

Weird, Area Woman Wasn't Harassed Today

Bewildered paralegal Caitlin Levy says that after returning home from work today, it occurred to her that, oddly, at no point during her day was she harassed, leered at, or made to feel humiliated or physically threatened.
End Of Section
  • More News

Cheney Nearly Bombed

At least nine people have died in a suicide bombing at a U.S. base in Afghanistan during Vice President Dick Cheney's stay. What do you think?
  • "This was an utterly pointless assassination attempt. Everybody knows the only thing that can kill Cheney is another Cheney."

    Karl Fetterman Sewage Treatment Worker
  • "That day was supposed to be a celebration. Couldn't the bomber have at least swallowed a couple of streamers?"

    Larry Thomas Cell-Phone Salesperson
  • "That's all? I expect at least nine people to die when Cheney walks into an Applebee's."

    Yvonne DeRogatis Sandwich Maker

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close