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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Cheney Nearly Bombed

At least nine people have died in a suicide bombing at a U.S. base in Afghanistan during Vice President Dick Cheney's stay. What do you think?
  • "This was an utterly pointless assassination attempt. Everybody knows the only thing that can kill Cheney is another Cheney."

    Karl Fetterman Sewage Treatment Worker
  • "That day was supposed to be a celebration. Couldn't the bomber have at least swallowed a couple of streamers?"

    Larry Thomas Cell-Phone Salesperson
  • "That's all? I expect at least nine people to die when Cheney walks into an Applebee's."

    Yvonne DeRogatis Sandwich Maker

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