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Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Cheney Nearly Bombed

At least nine people have died in a suicide bombing at a U.S. base in Afghanistan during Vice President Dick Cheney's stay. What do you think?
  • "This was an utterly pointless assassination attempt. Everybody knows the only thing that can kill Cheney is another Cheney."

    Karl Fetterman Sewage Treatment Worker
  • "That day was supposed to be a celebration. Couldn't the bomber have at least swallowed a couple of streamers?"

    Larry Thomas Cell-Phone Salesperson
  • "That's all? I expect at least nine people to die when Cheney walks into an Applebee's."

    Yvonne DeRogatis Sandwich Maker
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