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Cheney Shoots 78-Year-Old Man

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.
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Cheney Shoots 78-Year-Old Man

This weekend, Vice President Cheney accidentally shot a 78-year-old companion on a hunting trip in Texas. What do you think?
  • "I think it might be time to take a closer look at Dick Cheney's series of geriatric 'hunting accidents.'"

    Matthew Fay
    Paralegal
  • "Being a compassionate conservative, Cheney immediately apologized and offered to snap the poor man's neck."

    Thomas Pasculli
    Concert Promoter
  • "It's nice to see that Cheney brings the same clear-headed approach to arms deployment in his personal life that he does in formulating foreign policy."

    Laura Pearlstein
    Marketing Intern

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