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‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.
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Cheney Shoots 78-Year-Old Man

This weekend, Vice President Cheney accidentally shot a 78-year-old companion on a hunting trip in Texas. What do you think?
  • "I think it might be time to take a closer look at Dick Cheney's series of geriatric 'hunting accidents.'"

    Matthew Fay Paralegal
  • "Being a compassionate conservative, Cheney immediately apologized and offered to snap the poor man's neck."

    Thomas Pasculli Concert Promoter
  • "It's nice to see that Cheney brings the same clear-headed approach to arms deployment in his personal life that he does in formulating foreign policy."

    Laura Pearlstein Marketing Intern

More from this section

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.

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