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Cheney To Slam Bush In New Book

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Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

In case you missed last night's premiere of the second season of "Onion News Network", watch Jean Anne Whorton's touching portrait of a man who was born with a god-awful, hateful face.

Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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Cheney To Slam Bush In New Book

In his forthcoming memoirs, former vice president Dick Cheney will reportedly air grievances he had with his onetime boss. What do you think?
  • "Ooh, girlfriend!"

    Jackson Beahm Systems Analyst
  • "He's a little late to jump on the 'Bush is dumb' bandwagon."

    Wanda Ruthenberg Customer Service Representative
  • "In Cheney's defense, Bush was a really terrible president."

    Daryl Alexander Unemployed

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