adBlockCheck

Cheney's Lesbian Daughter Pregnant

Top Headlines

Recent News

Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Entertainment

  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Cheney's Lesbian Daughter Pregnant

Vice President Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter Mary is pregnant. What do you think?
  • "I bet it's a pretty big relief for Cheney to find out his daughter's lesbian phase is finally over."

    Marvin Sayles
    Systems Analyst
  • "God, I hope the father is black."

    Frieda Smith
    Personal Trainer
  • "It's deplorable that a celebrity couple like this would deliberately bring into the world a child that Christians can't love."

    Roger Warrens
    Framer

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close