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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.
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Chevy To Sticker Cars' Environmental Impact

Beginning with its 2012 subcompact Sonic, Chevrolet will begin providing information on the lifetime environmental impact of its cars. What do you think?

  • "Say goodbye, Ferrari. Nobody's going to want your cars now."

    Earl Timony Deicer Tester
  • "Louis Chevrolet is no doubt turning in his grave right now. To say nothing of William C. Durant, William Little, and Dr. Edwin R. Campbell! What, is loving the history of Chevrolet a crime?"

    Pilar Ranaldo Police Aide
  • "They used to do that for the Ford Mustang, but it was for panties dropped over its lifetime."

    Louis Fair Unemployed

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