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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Chile Quake Shifted Earth's Axis

The recent earthquake in Chile shifted the axis of the earth 3 inches and made the day 1.26 microseconds shorter. What do you think?
  • "Now when am I supposed to find time to go to the gym?"

    Walter Brooke-Taylor Agate Setter
  • "Though God did inflict great suffering with Haiti's earthquake, He showed His mercy by causing another and shortening the length of the miserable days endured by the Haitian people."

    Paul Garden Unemployed
  • "We'll all just have to work a little harder around here, then, won't we?"

    Tabitha Oddie Genealogist
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