adBlockCheck

Recent News

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.
End Of Section
  • More News

Chile's Pinochet Dead

Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet died Sunday at 91. What do you think?
  • "He was a complicated figure. On the one hand, he killed thousands of people. On the other hand, I don't know much more about him."

    Ian Cocker Customs Agent
  • "I would die, too, if my country were run by some woman calling herself 'The President.'"

    Jessica Loerber Computer Consultant
  • "At least he kept communism out of the country the only way a Fascist, bloodthirsty dictator could."

    Colin Gimeno Construction Worker

More from this section

FDA Rents Party House Upstate To Test New Drug

TOBYHANNA, PA—With preclinical studies of an in-development cholesterol-reducing medication now complete, Food and Drug Administration officials confirmed Monday they would be conducting initial trials of the new drug at a large party house they had rented in upstate Pennsylvania.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close