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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Chimp Genome Mapped

Scientists have mapped the complete chimp genome and are comparing it to the human genome to see what sets the two species apart. What do you think?
  • "Finally, we might begin to get some answers to... to... you know, all our most pressing chimp questions."

    Hans Krauth Accountant
  • "Can I use this information to make my arms longer but not hairier?"

    Patricia Holbrook Waitress
  • "This is secular humanism at its worst. What about mapping Christ's genome?"

    Sebastian Soriano Aircraft Mechanic
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