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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Chimps In Danger Of Extinction

Researchers recently said that the chimpanzee, hunted for meat and threatened by deforestation, could be extinct in 50 years. What do you think?
  • "Oh, boo hoo. They had their chance."

    David Price Civil Engineer
  • "As a poacher, whenever I catch a chimp, I just throw it back. I'm after the tastier marmosets."

    Ravi Klun Poacher
  • "Well, I say it's one less species who will masturbate in public. Good riddance!"

    Inez Rahman Pedicurist
  • "What?! Oh, chimps. I thought you said 'chicks.' Shit. Wow. For a second there... fuck."

    Wade Caho Jr. Artist
  • "Crap! We'd better remake The Barefoot Executive now, before it's too late."

    Robert Hegeman Systems Analyst
  • "They're being hunted for meat? Are chimp fajitas any good?"

    Dorothee Fochs Statistician
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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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