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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Chimps In Danger Of Extinction

Researchers recently said that the chimpanzee, hunted for meat and threatened by deforestation, could be extinct in 50 years. What do you think?
  • "Oh, boo hoo. They had their chance."

    David Price Civil Engineer
  • "As a poacher, whenever I catch a chimp, I just throw it back. I'm after the tastier marmosets."

    Ravi Klun Poacher
  • "Well, I say it's one less species who will masturbate in public. Good riddance!"

    Inez Rahman Pedicurist
  • "What?! Oh, chimps. I thought you said 'chicks.' Shit. Wow. For a second there... fuck."

    Wade Caho Jr. Artist
  • "Crap! We'd better remake The Barefoot Executive now, before it's too late."

    Robert Hegeman Systems Analyst
  • "They're being hunted for meat? Are chimp fajitas any good?"

    Dorothee Fochs Statistician

More from this section

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

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