China Bans Government Use Of Apple Products

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

China Bans Government Use Of Apple Products

Due to fears of espionage posed by revelations from Edward Snowden, the Chinese government has banned its ministries and federal agencies from buying or using 10 Apple products, including the iPad and MacBook, over concerns that the U.S. will hijack the products and spy on Beijing. What do you think?

  • “I always knew World War III would begin as a dispute over iPads.”

    Anita Beaven
    Calligrapher
  • “Now how are all these Chinese government officials going to edit their web series?”

    Chris Archibald
    Walkway Installer
  • “That’s ridiculous. We would never think of spying on China in that specific way.”

    Stan Harper
    Pumpkin Farmer
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