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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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China Bans Government Use Of Apple Products

Due to fears of espionage posed by revelations from Edward Snowden, the Chinese government has banned its ministries and federal agencies from buying or using 10 Apple products, including the iPad and MacBook, over concerns that the U.S. will hijack the products and spy on Beijing. What do you think?

  • “I always knew World War III would begin as a dispute over iPads.”

    Anita Beaven Calligrapher
  • “Now how are all these Chinese government officials going to edit their web series?”

    Chris Archibald Walkway Installer
  • “That’s ridiculous. We would never think of spying on China in that specific way.”

    Stan Harper Pumpkin Farmer

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