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International

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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China Bans Human Organ Trafficking

Amid allegations that they are harvesting the organs of executed prisoners, China is banning the sale of human organs starting May 1. What do you think?

  • "So long as my new pancreas is already in the mail, this doesn't affect me in the least."

    Raymond Shand Copy Editor
  • "This ban shows a shocking disregard for those of us who, having laid waste to our own bodies, wish to construct an entirely new one."

    Christopher Lincoln Postal Clerk
  • "Tell that to the thousands of people who already became murderers after receiving a killer's organ."

    Jessica Baillor Chemist

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