adBlockCheck

International

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

China Cracking Down On Tibet

China has been cracking down against protesting Tibetans, leading to widespread unrest and nearly 100 fatalities. What do you think?
  • "If those protesters had the sense to chant and make signs in English, I might be more sympathetic."

    Jerome Bitner Sales Clerk
  • "Man, remind me not to visit China anytime soon! Just kidding. I would never leave the United States."

    Janelle Varney Painter
  • "This is going to set back China's human rights advances at least three months.”

    Barry Finch Auto Mechanic

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close