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New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.

Tips For Hotel Etiquette

Staying in a hotel can be a fun and luxurious experience, but it requires consideration of the guests around you. The Onion presents its guide to hotel etiquette:
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China Warns U.S. Not To Default On Debt

Leaders in China, which owns $1.28 trillion in U.S. Treasury bonds, warned that a default by the United States would have global ramifications and urged American lawmakers to work harder to raise the debt ceiling before the country hits its borrowing limit on Oct. 17. What do you think?

  • “So it was just about the money for them all along?”

    Frank Fenton Hat Trimmer
  • “This probably isn’t a great time to ask, but I could sure use a loan from the Chinese.”

    Annette Groom Real Estate Lawyer
  • “I’d love to help out, but I’ve only got $878 billion.”

    John DeTitta Malt House Operator

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