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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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China's Nuclear Buildup

According to a new CIA report, China is expected to have as many as 100 long-range nuclear missiles aimed at the U.S. by 2015. What do you think?
  • "We don't need to worry about the Chinese using nukes. They'd first need to find an unpopulated area to test them."

    Max Koenig Systems Analyst
  • "Would it be culturally insensitive of me to say I hope they don't blast us to atoms? I don't want to offend anybody."

    Connie Vance Graduate Student
  • "Maybe it's time to flood China with opium again. Failing that, flood me with opium."

    Dan Essen Plumber
  • "If only Sting had possessed the foresight to hope that the Chinese love their two government-allotted children, too."

    Milt Odom Lawyer
  • "We shouldn't worry. Judicious use of force is the traditional and typical of Chinese glorious history and cultural."

    Ken Yaeger Roofer
  • "Doesn't China know that only the U.S. is responsible enough to have a nuclear arsenal?"

    Sylvia Coombes Graphic Designer

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