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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Chinese Auto Industry

Chinese carmakers are beginning to increase production volume, raise quality-control standards, and export cars to Europe, with the hope of becoming a major player in the auto industry in the coming years. What do you think?
  • "Hmm, a U.S. Navy fighter jet crashes in China and five years later they know how to make cars. Coincidence?"

    Kevin Bellisle Police Officer
  • "They want to make China the new Detroit, which is fine with me since I never saw much good in the Detroit we have now."

    Geraldine Watts Administrative Assistant
  • "Man, I knew the Asians could do cool stuff with folded paper, but that's just nuts."

    Karl Nevers Accountant
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