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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Chinese Buy America’s Largest Pork Producer

To satisfy China’s growing demand for pork as its middle class expands, the Chinese company Shanghui International Holdings is buying the American company Smithfield Foods, the world’s largest pork producer, for $4.7 billion. What do you think?

  • "Fuck, what if they take all the juiciest back fat?”

    Cynthia Harvey Powder Compounder
  • “Anyone who’s had the pork fried rice at Shanghai Kitchen knows those pigs are in good hands.”

    Rod Wenger Firewood Cutter
  • “Nothing says ‘I’ve made it’ like a mouthful of pig meat.”

    Gerald Croteau Unemployed

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