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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Chinese Hackers Steal Top U.S. Weapons Designs

Chinese hackers reportedly gained access to the designs of more than two dozen highly advanced U.S. weapons, including ballistic missile defense systems, fighter jets, and helicopters. What do you think?

  • “It’s actually kind of a compliment when you think about it.”

    Renee Brinkerhoff Estate Planner
  • “Friends are supposed to share.”

    Gregg Stanwick Unemployed
  • “Quick! Abort Operation: Secret Chinese War! Abort! Abort!”

    Ozzie Gonzales Telephone Assembler
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